Human Kindness in a Business Setting
A reflection on how a business process can turn into a point of connection
This is an article I wrote for LinkedIn back in 2024. Unfortunately I’ve had to remove it from the platform, but due to it’s viral success I wanted to post it here where I may reach the right audience.
Original Post - 7th September 2024
There are lots of unpleasant processes that you have to go through. That’s just part of life, part of adulthood. Let’s take going to the doctor as an example. Doctors and nurses spend years studying bedside manner because it puts patients at ease and improves outcomes. What if we applied that attitude to all of our business processes.
It turns out that we have pockets of brilliance throughout our public sector who are putting this into practice already. This is a personal story about a recent audit exercise that I had to go through and how my experience with Keith changed the whole thing. Few people would say they look forward to an audit. I certainly didn’t. Yet by the end of the process I found myself reflecting less on the spreadsheets and forms and more on the people.
Keith, hopefully you’re reading this, because this one is for you (and all the other Keith’s working away quietly throughout the Civil Service).
I have to admit to being nervous about the audit, I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong, but it’s still absolutely nerve racking. I was just getting back from walking the dog as Keith’s Ford Focus pulled up onto the drive.
Within 15 seconds of meeting, Keith had cut through the stress. A little human connection and a little joke.
“Good job you’ve got that big coat on for walking the dog. Plenty of room for treats”.
“Yes - and it’s been a cold September already”, I say.
He agrees. “I’ll have to get my big coat out in the next few weeks - maybe still a bit warm for it now though, eh?”.
Turns out he has a dog too. We talk about Bella, his whippet, and I think about how well she’d get on with my Retreiver, Daisy. These are small things we have in common, but these small things matter.
It turns out we’ve got loads in common.
“Come on in mate. Can I get you a coffee?”.
“Lovely - just a splash of milk please”.
If you’ve read any of my recent posts you’ll know all about my new Lelit. I’m getting pretty close to making a YouTube worthy espresso. One Italian macchiato coming right up.
Keith takes a tentative sip and gives me an encouraging “Champion, that”. I think it was a little under extracted, but it doesn’t phase Keith.
They put call centers in Newcastle because the accent puts you at ease. I can totally see the logic behind that now.
As we trawled through my tax returns, budget tracker and family birth certificates more similarities come to the fore. We’re both foodies as well.
He loves the Hairy Bikers. Even went to get his book signed at the Metro Center. We laugh because he snuck in a copy he got at The Works for 60% off.
“Not paying Waterstones prices, pet”
”You’re right mate, we love to support the local shop down the road, it’s a bit pricey and they don’t always have the book you want, but it’s good to shop local”.
We eventually moved into my spending.
“Don’t worry, be reet. This cost of living things hitting us all hard”.
“That’s true mate. The price of organics is through the roof. Maybe I can buy an Ocado delivery pass, cuts the cost over time. Every little helps”
“I thought that was Tescos…”
We both laugh.
Keith spent some time going though my supporting documents and asked me a bit about my family background. My Mums connections abroad and my Dads six months living in Sussex.
Yesterday I was dreading my day with Keith. I was expecting a forensic examination from the most strait laced interrogator the department had available. What I got instead was a lovely day with Keith.
If I were to take a moment to reflect on what I’ve learned. It’s that in life and business there are challenges and stumbles along the way, but if we can remain humble, human and kind then it works better for everyone.
I was a little sad to see Keith go, flat cap in hand back up the M62, but he’s needed elsewhere to see another human being through a difficult process.
Update - 19th March 2025
First of all, I’d just like to thank Julie at the ICO for her help over the last few weeks. No matter how many times I’ve called or emailed, she’s always responded with kindness. Julie, you and your colleagues are doing great work standing up for the little guy. I didn’t expect my little “Subject Access Request” to cause this much work, but you made it so much easier.
Since my original post, I’ve been able to get hold of a copy of the notes from my audit and I’ve had a little time to reflect on them.
Keith - if you are reading this.
Go fuck yourself.
Let me start by saying that I cannot believe the attitude of the bureaucrats in Sheffield. They have become so out of touch with what it’s like out in the real world. Living in their working class, Yorkshire bubble. I bet they still think a flat cap is formal wear.
It’s just not like the old days. You can’t even buy a pint of mild any more. Definitely not for less than a fiver.
And since when did wearing a proper coat in September become such a big fucking deal. As if that means anything.
Let’s look at some of these notes:
9:35am - subject spends 20 minutes explaining his coffee grinder settings
11:45am - subject accidentally uses southern “u” sound in the word putt
1:30pm - subject is still talking about his golf handicap
What does any of this mean about whether I am a proper northerner?
I was just making conversation!
We were connecting!
2:44pm - subject describes Ocado delivery pass as “basically paying for itself”
Well - it does, and you can’t get the good tomatoes at Tesco anyway.
It’s not fair to weaponise facts like that against me!
3:25pm - second coffee machine discovered
3:26pm - subject confirms the second machine is for lighter roasts
Can’t a man just have a cup of coffee?!?
Honestly, I knew this “Northernness Assessment Agency” would become another political car crash. Promoting our culture my arse. It’s about lining the pockets of the usual suspects. I think you all know who I mean.
So what do I do now? Am I a Southerner? Or worse, from the Midlands?
It’s not even a real place.
Keith - you made me think we were friends. We had a connection. We were going to see that screening of Brassed Off at The Everyman.
Well.
Some friend you are.
Update #2 - 1st November 2025
I’d like to thank everyone for all of their support and messages regarding my ongoing ordeal. I know not everyone agrees with me, but a big shout out to the guys at /r/BestOfRedditorUpdates and /r/LinkedInLunatics for all of the post engagement helping this go viral.
I’d also like to thank the many campaigners who have reached out over the last year.
Particular thanks to Janet from Saddleworth, Martin from Middlesbrough and Concerned, from Hull.
You know who you are and I love you all.
With the court case upcoming I’ve been revisiting my old notes. I’ve spent so much time with my new community I’ve barely had time to think. I’d almost forgotten why this all started.
Anyway. I can’t say too much, but there’s still no apology from the people involved.
It’s going to be a long and hard road, but I’ll continue the fight.
Keith remains active on social media. His latest X post gathered 132 likes and 6 shares. Keith - if you are reading this please pass on my well wishes to your wife following her shoulder surgery.
Update #3 - 7th February 2026
Whilst not everyone agrees with my position, the level of public engagement speaks for itself.
Over 14,000 comments across multiple platforms.
The conversation is clearly resonating. I hope to see some of you at the appeal. You’ll be glad to know I’ve asked for a bigger room due to the public interest.
Meanwhile, there is no slowdown in Keith’s social media activity. Keith - if you are reading this - congrats on the new PB. I’d love to do the Great North run one day.
Update #4 - 3rd May 2026
It’s been a long fight but I have now settled out of court and have been provisionally awarded my northern status pending a further judicial review. If all goes well, I should hear the final outcome within the next 12-18 months or so.
That should give a few months before my next audit comes around.
An NDA means I can’t provide too much more information.
Keith - if you are reading this, I’m sorry it got this far. However, I know you will agree that there are some lessons we can all learn from this.
As a gesture of good will, I will no longer be pursuing reimbursement for the Brassed Off tickets
A final thanks to all of my supporters on LinkedIn, Reddit and Patreon. I couldn’t have done it without you.
Also a special shout out to my wife who has adapted to our new baby so bravely while I pursued justice. We’ve both had sleepless nights for different reasons. It’s been time consuming work and I couldn’t have done it without you - I love you both!
And to those northerners continuing to struggle because they appreciate the art of a good espresso, know how to navigate a wine list and aren’t that taken with Rugby League - know that I did this for you.
Keith - before I forget - congratulations on your promotion.